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The Danger of Being Easily Offended

4 Biblical Tips to Not Be So Easily Offended

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Being easily offended is a sign of selfishness, insecurity, and lack of wisdom.

It appears as a small problem,

but in reality it will keep you from experiencing

joy, peace, and God’s best for your life.

Author Unknown

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Ricky Garvais

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An offended heart is the breeding ground

of deception.

John Bevere

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The Danger of Being Easily Offended – Bill Johnson

(This YouTube video is 10:41 in length, below is the transcript)

I don’t want the the poison of offense to cloud my my vision

my scene

I don’t want it to affect my thinking

my reasoning

because if it does –

that’s the target

the target is to get a fence

to get bitterness


any of these things to get it some where influencing the reasoning

so that I’m not able to demonstrate the heart of God on planet earth

in the measure He desires

let’s go to James chapter three

what we’re going to see here is

we recognize that the devil doesn’t come to us in a red rubber suit

with horns and a pitchfork

he doesn’t make himself known as the devil

he makes himself known as something we would value

he actually has to parade his thoughts as virtuous thoughts

for us to embrace them

that was a good point bill

that was a really good point

he has to actually parade

what bible calls him the angel of light

so he has to parade himself in away

where we think or

feel that we are discerning or

moving in some sort of a virtue

the problem is good conduct that his works for Don

is that way of life

that way of thinking

does not carry peace with it

it does not bear the fruit of peace or righteousness

so let’s go into this passage out of James chapter 3. verse 13

Who is wise and understanding among you

let him show by good conduct that his works are done

in the meekness of wisdom

I love that phrase

meekness of wisdom

my goodness don’t pursue wisdom without meekness

meekness is not weakness

meekness isn’t weakness

meekness is yielded strength

the biblical illustration of meekness

is the wild horse that becomes trained

is the wild horse to become a trend

is still strong to jump the biggest fence

it just only does it at the commander’s word

verse 14

if you have bitter


self-seeking in your hearts

do not boast and lie against the truth

(verse 15)

this wisdom does not descend from above

but is earthly sensual and demonic

(verse 16)

for where envy and self-seeking exist

confusion and every evil thing are there

(verse 17)

but the wisdom that is from above

is first pure

then peaceable

gentle willing to yield


full of mercy and good fruits

without partiality and without hypocrisy

now the fruit of righteousness is sown in peace

by those who make peace

go back to verse 14 and 15

and then I want to talk to you for a bit

if you have bitter – envy- self-seeking in your heart

do not boast and lie against the truth

look at this phrase

this wisdom does not descend from above

but is earthly essential and demonic

what’s the key here





all of these things

carry with it the appearance of wisdom

that’s why a Christian would embrace it

it makes us feel


it just doesn’t bear the fruit of peace

of righteous living

if I were to call out what I think is

the number one


that I’ve seen at work in the Body of Christ in the last two years

it would be offense

and it’s it’s connected to this right here

it appears as wisdom

it comes with reason

have you ever met a bitter person

that didn’t have a good reason

it’s their reasoning

offense is that way

I’ve been on a little journey myself for the last

i’ve mentioned it before and a few months ago

but over the last I would say maybe six months

I-I’ve been asking the Lord

man I don’t want

I don’t want any trace of offense in my heart about anything ever

I don’t want to live under that influence and

I-I to be honest with you

I-I’m one of the most forgiving people I know and

I-I’m I’m

that’s an arrogant thing to say

but I really don’t care

at this point I

I-I honestly

I-I am so quick to forgive

and yet I’ve asked the Lord

show me anyplace

where there’s a fence


you don’t have to be bitter

to live under the influence of offense

I’ve I’ve dealt with the unforgiveness stuff

as to much as my knowledge I have dealt with

but you can still

unknowingly live under the influence of an offense and

still not be bitter

guard your heart

but you live under the pain of that

when you don’t need to

so I’ve been asking the Lord to just show me this stuff

for the last six months at the most random times

I’ll be just driving down the road

and I will remember something somebody said to me in high school


do we have to go that far back you know

or something it was done in grade school or

something was done last year

I mean just all kinds of very random things

the conversation at the Chicago Airport

with a young man


had certain opinions and conclusions about me

so that comes to mind

I-I can see his face

I can take you where we were in the airport

and I say

I give up my right to be offended


I give up my right

the lady who flips me off in the car

I pull over to have a conversation with her

I give up my right to be offended

the money that was stolen

the dishonesty in this deal

I give up my right to be offended

and what happens is you just have this stuff

just-just dial up

now I-I need I need you to understand because

there could be a horrible misunderstanding

I don’t recognize anything yet

He’s brought up

where I have harvard resentment or bitterness

but there’s something powerful that’s done in my heart

I don’t know how else to say that

something’s powerful is down in my heart

when I look at that the guy

who met me at the airport

here in reading and just read me the riot act

and on my eternal destination

I can still see his face

I give up my right to be offended

honestly I’ve tried to take it a step farther in cases like this

I pray for great mercy – great grace

but the point is I-I don’t want

I don’t want the-the poison of offense to cloud my-my vision

my scene

I don’t want it to affect my thinking

my reasoning

because it does

that’s the target

the target is to get offense

to get bitterness


any of these things

to get it somewhere influencing

the reasoning

so that I’m not able to demonstrate the heart of God on planet earth

in the measure He desires

so I want you to look with me at

Romans 12

and we’ll uh

we’ll take this for the remaining

uh part of the morning

you guys still alive

I don’t know

what I’d say

would I do if you said no

but I do prefer people surviving the meeting

verse 1 of chapter 12

Romans 12

I beseech you therefore brethren by the mercies of God

that you present your bodies a living sacrifice

wholly acceptable to God

which is your reasonable service

I think one of the translations maybe New American says

reasonable service of worship

present your bodies a living sacrifice

your reasonable service


a living offering is the intellectual thing to do

have you discovered yet that God thinks different than you

guess who’s not going to change

what repentance does

is it re-engages with the way He thinks

that’s what repentance is

repentance is reconnecting with the perception of God regarding a matter

His perception is different

most of our lives are spent in the middle of challenges

difficulties-problems victories


it might be and in the middle of these issues

we are crying out to God

for Him to come and help and to fix the situation

but Jesus modeled a different way of living

I hope that we can come into this in instruction and

experience more thoroughly

in the next couple of years

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yeah i’m so glad that you watched this video

I do pray that it’s a great great strength and encouragement to you and

I’ve got a verse that it really is my cry for all of us and it’s

Psalms 20 it’s verse 4

may He grant you your heart’s desire and

fulfill all your plans

that’s my prayer

that’s my prayers

that this would be the season of rich rich fulfillment

thanks for joining us

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4 Biblical Tips to Not Be So Easily Offended

(This YouTube video is 10:26 in length, below is the transcript)

are you the type to get easily offended

do you frequently find yourself taken aback by the things that people say and do

well hey my friend

welcome back to another edition of the building faith podcast

my name is Chris Reese and is my hope to help you find biblical solutions to life’s tough challenges

I remember going out to eat with friends one time

after we’d finished with a long event and

we were enjoying our food and the conversation and

then I looked over at my friend’s plate and

I saw that she was nearly finished in record time and

I remember thinking to myself wow she must have been hungry

so I said

wow you must have been hungry and

she stuttered alittle bit and said

yeah and we went back to our dinner conversationand

it wasn’t until we were ready to get the check did I see that she had not finished what little food was left

and she packed it up and

she took it home

I sensed something was up

so later that evening

one of my other friends said to me

how hurt she was by my comments and

I knew what comment she was referring to because it was obvious how her behavior changed after it but

what I couldn’t understand was why and

worse why didn’t she say something to me

whether you’re the type that gets offended and

says something to the person

vents it to another person or

tries to keep it to herself

being easily offended

can actually affect or

even infect our relationships and

maybe that’s why Solomon in

Ecclesiastes 7:21 says this

Do not take to heart all the things that people say lest you hear your servant cursing you

your heart knows that the many times you yourself have cursed others

are you easily offended

do people have to walk on egg shells when they’re around you

yes there are people who are rude and cruel and

I’m not talking about those people who make their snide passive aggressive comments repeatedly and

then say

oh I was just kidding or

you misunderstood me I’m talking about those situations where you leave it up to the other person

to figure out and fix but

you never take the time to figure out

if it was truly their issue or

yours being offended is subjective

that’s why there’s no recourse for being offended

what offends me may not offend you and vice versa

if someone said to me wow it looks like you were hungry

as I quickly polished off my dinner that wouldn’t offend me but

it did my friend

so what’s actually going on

behind the scenes

well the truth is people who easily get offended are often self-righteous and

I know this hurts to hear and

it certainly hurt me to hear this years ago

when I thought that it was everyone else’s job to cater to my feelings and beliefs

otherwise they didn’t love me

you have free will to believe and prefer whatever you’d like but

so does someone else

so we have to stop making people wrong in order for you to be right

then we go and we kick it up a notch and we presume to know that we know what they were thinking and

we know what they were feeling when they said what offended us

the truth is you don’t know

what someone else is thinking or feeling

you don’t know what their true motive is and

when you have a self-righteous attitude you automatically make someone else wrong

so you can stand in your self-righteousness

doing this empowers you to point the blame out ward and

say you bad

me good and

there are times that people can say something that was hurtful and

they truly didn’t mean to but

there are other times where their questions or their comments are truly innocent but

you’re hit hard

so what do you do

well the healthy thing to do is to approach somebody and

let them know how their comment has affected you and

oftentimes however we let it go but

we really don’t let it go

we actually just store the offense until later and

otherwise bury it under the rug until they say something again and

then we trip over the bigger mound in other words

you harbor and then you add it to your offense list and while letting people know

that you have

they’ve offended you

can actually build bridges and relationships that can also begin to deteriorate them

as someone is left constantly having to explain themselves and justify their behavior

while they’re just trying to be themselves

in other words

people may say i feel like I’m walking around eggshells around you

so what do you do if you find yourself constantly offended and hurt by people

the best place to begin is within yourself

now I’m not saying that you’re at fault but

what I am saying is that you’re going to want to do a healthy self-examination

to see what’s going on inside of you

my go-to prayer is Psalm 139:23

Search me God and know my heart

test me and know my anxious thoughts

because oftentimes when we’re the type who so easily offended

the problem doesn’t lie truly in what the other person is saying

it actually lies more in what you’re struggling with and

probably trying to hide

for example

it came out later that my friend from the restaurant was struggling with her weight and

she thought that I was criticizing her for the portions that she was eating

well that was a really poor assumption and

if she wasn’t struggling with her weight

she likely wouldn’t have been triggered by such a friendly innocent comment and

when we take our hidden issues and project them onto others

we can do damage in a relationship

while people who love you do want to be sympathetic to what you’re struggling with

the problem that you can create in a relationship sometimes is when you take your struggle

you put it on them and

then you blame them for it that’s unhealthy and

that’s what is going to create distance in a relationship not closeness

do you like hanging out with somebody who blames you for what they’re going through

do you enjoy spending time with someone who accuses you of making them feel a certain way

again I’m not saying that there aren’t people out there

who are-aren’t malicious and passive-aggressive in their intent but

for normal everyday people

who are just trying to be themselves and in relationship with you

they’re battling with their own struggles

they don’t want to be blamed for yours or mine

so what are you to do

what do you do when those moments

in those moments when you’re hurt and you’re offended and

you really don’t know if it’s them or if it’s you

well here are some steps

that you can take in fact there are three of them

Number One


pray and ask God to reveal to you the truth of what’s happening

Number Two

check yourself

ask yourself this question

is this something that I’m struggling with

did it trigger something that’s within me and

Number Three

own it

I have good news for you-you want to quickly discover what you’re struggling with

look for your out-sized reactions

when you’re triggered because


what’s truly going on inside of you

if it’s a struggle or an insecurity that you have you need to own it and

then maybe even get some help for it

you can’t create environments where everyone has to be aware of each other’s struggles and

know how to respond accordingly

that’s just not humanly possible

my friend

God is faithful to help us heal every broken part of our lives

He is faithful to see us through the valleys

He is faithful to heal ourhearts but

God won’t heal

what we won’t reveal

just like hiding our sin will not bring forgiveness

hiding our struggles will not bring the healing

we have to own it and

bring it before God

we have to admit that this is my struggle

so when someone comes along and triggers me

I know that it’s an issue that I need to deal with and not be distracted

by now trying to put the blame on them and

this even works in those times

when someone is deliberately evil in their intent towards you

so again I’m not saying that their behavior is okay but

if you’re triggered

it’s your struggle but

God can see you through

that look I get it-it seems so much easier to point that blame outward

it seems much simpler to say you make me feel to someone

it seems so much easier to get the world around you to conform to your needs and your expectations but

in case you haven’t noticed

it doesn’t work

if you are looking for true genuine relationships you have to allow people the grace to be themselves

to make mistakes and

to prove if they are truly for you or against you and

blaming others for your hurts and your struggles actually begins to push people away

consider this there is likely some truth in what they’re saying and

that is what stings but

you getting angry at them doesn’t make their truth a lie

it only puts you in denial

check yourself

examine what was said and determine if there is some truth in it and

even if what they said was truly offensive God can still take what the enemy meant for harm and

use it for your good

so extract the truth from it

going around trying to make others believe your lie isn’t going to bring truth

being offended my friend

is a choice

just because you feel offended doesn’t mean you have to give into that feeling

Proverbs 19 says it best when it says

good sense makes one slow to anger and it is his glory to overlook an offense

so ask yourself

do I want to be offended right now or not

you’re not a victim

my friend

you have a choice

are you struggling with a victim-mentality

I want to invite you to checkout this episode right over here on how to be set free and

if you’ve ever wondered if you are suffering from toxic thinking

I want to invite you to take our free toxic thoughts quiz

just to see

just how toxic your thinking process maybe

I will go ahead and include a link inthe description section below for both of these valuable resources

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