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Underneath the so-called narcissistic personality is definitely
shame and the paralyzing fear of being ordinary.


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Never defend yourself to a narcissist. They already know you’re right!
They just want you to go crazy trying to prove it.

Author Unknown

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Arguing with a narcissist is like getting arrested.
Everything you say can and will be used against

Author Unknown

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(This YouTube video is 12:44 in length, below is the transcript)

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all right so a lot of times when I’ve talked  about narcissism to people

they either haven’t  experienced it

haven’t gone through it or

don’t  know anything about it

they don’t really understand

they don’t understand like what’s going  on

like what’s going through the other person’s head

they don’t understand that-that type of abuse exists out there and

one of the areas

one of the  realms

circles that I’ve experienced

that a lot in is in a lot of different christian circles

so  whatever type of religion

like just christianity as a whole

a lot of times doesn’t seem to  understand the concept of narcissism

doesn’t understand like

what’s actually going on with it and for me

what I’ve experienced is a lot of times people just either look down on it or

they just kind of think like oh this doesn’t exist and 

that was something that I grew up with for a long  period of time

it wasn’t necessarily consciously taught to me but it was subconscious

through interactions

through people that I interacted with 

through my upbringing

through the the church scene 

like different things

like that-that a lot of like mental health

was like discounted and it was kind  of shoved to the side of

okay well you just need to trust God and be better or

you just need to  confess your sin

then you won’t be dealing with

you know

whatever you’re dealing with there

are different things

like that and while I do think there’s

uh truth to that

uh I do think there’s also an aspect that a lot of times people discount mental health issues and

people just discounts like what’s actually going on 

inside people’s heads

inside people’s brains and um

while I am a believer and

I am a person that says that you know I believe God can change and work

in anybody’s heart

in anybody’s  life

I do think there also is the point that  He’s not just going to manipulate people and

He’s  not going to make them do whatever but

He gives them a choice and

He gives them that free will and 

the hard thing is like

some people were like God can change anybody and I’m like – yes God can change anybody but

at the same time the other person has  to be willing to change

they have to be willing  to be honest

they have to be willing to be open to admitting that they’re wrong you know

admitting that they have sin in their lives

like whatever

it might be and a lot of times in Christian circles

it comes across like narcissism isn’t a thing like  

it’s not real

it’s not uh as abusive or it’s not as manipulative or it’s not as like selfish or whatever

as what it is um or

it’s just explained a way of like oh well

they’re just dealing with  a lot of pride right now or

they’re dealing with a lot of selfishness or

maybe they’ve just  not been fulfilled in a certain area

so that’s why they’re cheating or like  

different things like that and for me a lot of  times

it’s hard to explain it to some people so  

I was reading um a couple months ago and then  it came back up just in in reading again and the  

other night I shared it on a live and I actually sat down and kind of like read through a little bit of the bible

and shared a little bit on

a lot of how I see narcissism in the bible and for me

it’s actually going back to um

the almost the second last letter the second last letter in the book of the bible of the letter of Jude and

 going in there

this got warnings

of just the history of the ungodly of like

what’s going on and as I kind of look through it

I wanted to share a  little bit today

maybe you’ll enjoy this episode 

maybe not um

I don’t really care because this is what I’m I’m experiencing

what I’m going through and

what I wanted to share with you guys but um 

so it starts off Jude and

it starts going through like the first couple sentences like acknowledging  

like what’s going on you know

this is James (Jude) is talking um you know to to

write there and then  um

as we get down into it

it says in verse  4 it says

for certain people have crept in  unnoticed

just as they were sneaking in by a side door so like

these people are like infiltrating the church

the believers like the godly people 

there they’re infiltrating this and these people they’re ungodly persons

it says ungodly persons 

whose condemnation was predicted long ago  for they distort the grace of God into decadence 

and in moral freedom

viewing it as an opportunity to do whatever they want so like

the idea of like becoming a Christian

now I’m saved  

now I can check that box

now I can do whatever I want like that’s not Christianity um and that’s not having a relationship with God

and they deny and disown our only master and Lord Jesus Christ  so anyways so

He’s talking about these people that are like infiltrating like literally 

like sneaking in the side door

sneaking into  Christianity

sneaking into people’s lives and this is where you see like

I think narcissism like

invading the church

invading Christianity um  

so then I want to skip a couple verses so I can  give like more description okay so it’s

talking  in verse 8 and it says

nevertheless in the same way these dreamers

so it’s all about the same people that are sneaking in

these dreamers who are dreaming that God will not punish them

and  this was like really crazy because as a narcissist like one of

the things is I live in the moment I want to be only present with what I

when I’m at and I’m ignoring all shame and guilt

because I  don’t want to get punished by that

I don’t want to think about that

I don’t want to acknowledge it so  

it’s literally like

the idea of like it  says dreamers

here like is

the idea of like  

lying to myself

like gaslighting myself of like 

this isn’t gonna happen like it’s not a big deal like

I can do whatever I want that kind of thing 

these dreamers that are dreaming that God will not  punish them also defile the body

so narcissism a lot of times defiles the body

with different substances

with different abuse um

with other people like all this type of stuff um and

reject legitimate authority wow because

authority is built on boundaries is built on  actual legitimate boundaries that authority is set in place

whether that’s government

whether that’s uh schools

churches like whatever it might be um  or

whether that’s relationships like there’s like different aspects of like authority and respect and

boundaries that a narcissist doesn’t handle that they don’t like

I don’t like boundaries 

boundaries a lot of times for narcissus it’s just a challenge

how can I break them

how do I  get past them because I’m rebellious and

I think  it’s all about me um

also defile the body

reject legitimate authority and

revile and mock angels okay and so

then down here verse 10 um

so these men

so the same people we’re talking about

sneer at anything which they do not understand

and i was  like whoa that is so true in my life

so like early on when um Kale and I were married

like there was  stuff that she would struggle with like


and because of my upbringing because of the circles that I’d been in and because of my own life

I didn’t really view those as being real 

I was like okay you struggle with anxiety

like just trust God more like be

more confident like uh  get your head out of the same

like just keep going  like

I didn’t think that it was real because for me as a narcissist

if I hadn’t experienced it

if it wasn’t something that I had firsthand knowledge of then I was like

that doesn’t exist like you know

just be better like they just didn’t connect in one sense

these slander anything which they do not understand and

whatever they do by mere  instinct like unreasonable and irrational beast  

like wow

that’s very true as well like a lot of the stuff that I do

is by instinct you know

lying  by instinct or you know

avoiding something my instinct

running away from something by instinct 

hiding from a conversation like

manipulating someone else

a lot of it over a period of time becomes very instinctual of

this is what I need  to do to survive

this is what I need to protect  myself

this is what I need to do to not get the result that I don’t want et cetera-et cetera  and so

then skipping down to verse 12

i’m going  to say here in Jude verse 12

these men are hidden reefs and elements of great danger to others

like how true is that like often times you think of a reef and if it’s hidden like

the boat doesn’t see it

all of a sudden the boat runs the ground  

it can capsize the boat

it can rip the boat up

it can you know

ship break

the entire boat

just by it  running over this reef and

often times that’s what  a narcissist looks like

they look like a great person

a great experience

like an awesome thing 

a beautiful beautiful sunset

whatever it might be  and then

all of a sudden you run aground like you 

run into the reef because of the fact

that they’ve got a lot of hidden stuff underneath

that you  didn’t actually know about

so what seemed great  on the surface wasn’t too great once you got below 

it again with verse 12 um

in their love feasts  they feast together without um sorry

in their love  feasts they feast together with you without fear looking after only themselves

like how true is  that like majority of narcissists don’t fear you

like they’ll yell at you

they’ll scream at you

they’ll rage at you and oftentimes

they’ll walk around and having blatant lies and really not  having much fear about it

like they’ll walk out of the house and go be with someone else

they’ll have another relationship with someone else

they’ll  interact with both of you at the same time in the same room and

they don’t have any fear about it because

they’re living in the moment

they’re not really caring about the other person

they’re not really caring about you know respecting another person’s boundaries or whatever it might be

and they have literally like no fear a lot of times

just to do whatever they want 

they’re like clouds without water

swept  along by the winds

autumn trees without fruit 

doubly dead

uprooted and lifeless

like when you think about that they have like clouds that aren’t bringing anything to the table and 

they’re like trees that aren’t producing any fruit like

they’re literally just dead inside as far as

they’re not bringing anything to the table

they’re not helping out in any way

they’re not engaging

they’re not doing anything

except literally just sucking the life away from you 

I mean that’s a lot of times what narcissism is um

number 13

wild waves of the sea flinging up their own shame like foam

and I was like holy cow because a lot of narcissism is built on shame

is built on insecurities

is built on hiding from that guilt like

running away from that accountability and so as a result like

I’m gonna take any shame  that I have and I’m gonna use that to whip and push you around and so

it’s like the idea of like 

these wild waves of the sea flinging up their own shame

like foam

like when I have shame

that’s what  I’m going to rage harder

that’s when i’m going to  make your life tumultuous and

really just destroy a lot of things that you’re used to like

put you off balance

put you off kilter

like take away

like your safety

your comfort and everything like that  because I have to be able to take my shame that  I’m feeling

and either put it on you

or transition  it so that iIm not experiencing it

so that I’m not held accountable for it and

if I can push it on anyone else

then I feel better about myself and then

I can move on uh

wandering stars from the  gloom of deep darkness has been reserved forever 

um and then verse 16

these people  are habitual murmurs

so constantly complaining griping complaining

following  after their own desires controlled by passion  

now how true is that like a narcissist like  they’re controlled so many times by passion

well I did this because I wanted to like

I cheated  because you weren’t giving me what I wanted

I  did this because it’s what I wanted

I obsessed  over this

I jumped into you know drugs-alcohol whatever

it is like they become obsessive 

addictive in a lot of nature because

they’re only run by their own instincts

run by 

their own passions

their own desires  um

they speak arrogantly

very true so i think everybody agree with that and then

the last part  of verse 16

pretending admiration and flattering  people to gain an advantage

like right there you have like a lot of the boxes checked on even  like the dsm-5 level of like

what’s actually  going on but then

you also have just like basic characteristics of what a lot of narcissists do so like

the the love bombing

the gaslighting 

the manipulation like all the types of things of-of

speaking pretending admiration and flattering other people like

love bombing and-and building someone up in order to be able to get something from them

in order to be able to gain advantage 

of who they are

what they’re doing

what they know

so they can control and manipulate another person  

anyways random note

I just wanted to share that with you guys today

something I showed the other day on my live

that I saw that was um in here um 

I don’t put a ton of stuff up here about my faith but

that is something that I saw that I wanted  to put out there because

I think a lot of times um Christianity as a whole discounts narcissism and mental health and

want to put out that

hey it’s pretty clear that it’s in there as well of

all the different attributes

all different things  

that’s going on with that

they’re in there and so  people need to give it more weight than what they do

if you like what you see here subscribe to  my channel

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thanks so  much give me a couple stars

just to spread the message about narcissism and how it’s affecting other people’s lives and everything

like that if you’d like to meet one time uh

whether you’re a narcissist

whether you’re a person  in a narcissistic abusive relationship

would  love to meet with you

love to help

coach you  

any way that I can to get closure

to break the  lies

to be able to work as you progress farther on life and kind of

deal with things step by step

anyways if you want that reach out rawmotivations.com

I would love to have you interact there

I’ve got one-on-ones on there videos

the podcast also a tab for the

narc app

as we’re trying to get that slowly off the ground as it’s

getting approval pretty soon

but anyways thanks thanks for listening

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