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Codependency is a concept that refers to a psychological, spiritual, or emotional reliance on another person in a way that is self-destructive or other harmful and often includes enabling behavior. Codependent relationships are often out of balance, and a codependent person may ignore their own needs in favor of their loved ones’ needs. Codependent people have trouble establishing healthy relationships and may end up in one-sided or even abusive relationships. Codependent relationships can be intimate relationships, or they can occur between family members or within caretaking relationships. A caregiver, for example, may become unable to set boundaries with the loved one being cared for and begin to neglect their own well-being.


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“There are two questions a man must ask himself: The first is ‘Where am I going?’ and the second is ‘Who will go with me?’

If you ever get these questions in the wrong order you are in trouble.” 

― Sam Keen,

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A codependent person is one who has let another person’s behavior affect him or her and who is obsessed with controlling that person’s behavior.

Melody Beattie

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Kris Reece (krisrecces.com)

8 Signs of a Codependent Christian

are your feelings dictated by those around you

are you only okay if others are okay with you

you my friend could be struggling with codependency

and in this video we’retalking about the eight signs of a christian codependent

well welcome my friend if this is your first time here

my name is Khris Reece

and if you are looking for biblical solutions to life’s tough challenges

go ahead and click that subscribe and notification button

so you don’t miss a thing

from the beginning God said

it is not good that man should be alone

i will make him a helpe fit for him

Genesis 2:18

and he created us for relationship

but when codependency enters the picture the relationship dynamic can become distorted and unhealthy

codependency is defined as an

excessive emotion or physical reliance on another person

usually those closest to us

codependents need a lot of support and can put a lot of strain on a relationship

in a nutshell

codependency can be described by saying

if You’re Okay – I’m Okay

If You’re “NOT” Okay – I’m “NOT” Okay

now in christianity we can get this confused with

bearing one another’s burdens

a scripture that we find in Galatians 6:2

and laying our life down for someone

John 15:13

and we confuse this with a pattern ofen abling even unhealthy and sinful behaviors

so how do you know if you’re a caring problem solver or a codependent

let’s talk today about eight signs of a christian codependent


Difficulty Saying “NO”

do you feel that if you say no you may lose the relationship

or what it’s providing for you

many who struggle with codependency struggle with setting healthy boundaries

and even if you muster up enough courage you almost feel the need to explain yourself

if you have trouble saying no or feel the need to justify your no

it likely stems from your wanting to be seen in a certain light

whether it be for giving

giving caring selfless and you need the other person

now to give youper mission to feel good about your boundary


Overly Concerned with the Feelings and Needs of Others

God has given each of us unique preferences and desires

but if you’re codependent you’re not okay if others aren’t okay with you

your feelings are dependent upon their feelings


A Fear of Abandonment and Being Alone

people who struggle with codependency need constant reassurance and validation

and their worth is often found in others

therefore the thought of being alone is terrifying to the man

this can be made worse by those who deny this fear

and pretend to be independent

when in reality their fear of being alone drives their every action


Struggle to Identify Your Own Needs and Feelings

when asked what would you prefer many who struggle with codependent behaviors cannot easily identify their feelings and preferences without involving another person

and they often hope or expect others to read their minds and meet their needs without them ever having to communicate them

this is because codependents are highly skilled at reading others emotions and anticipating expectations and they hope and expect the same for themselves in fact often times they equate this to love


A Victim-Like Mentality

those struggling with codependent traits try very hard to please people and then get resentful when others don’t respond in the way that they want or expect

and if you are not sure if you have a victim mentality

i want you to watch for words like this

you made me

you make me feel

well i guess now i have to

and many of the behavioral traits that a codependent will exhibit could be defined as caring

but this is not the biblical definition of caring

the behavior is actually a form of manipulation

which my friend i hate to break this to you is actually a form of witchcraft

look people who have a victim mentality

don’t always do it intentionally

however they’ve learned that it gains them sympathy

or it puts them into a favorable light with others and now this seems to be their fall back and go to


Insecure Fragile and Sensitive

many who struggle with codependency have never developed a sense of self

they don’t know who they are and the place that they hold in this world

outside of the needs and expectations of others

and this insecurity breeds a constant need for reassurance

and codependence can often be described as

needy and clingy


Feeling Resentful

it is more blessed to give than to receive says Acts chapter 20 verse 35

and those struggling with codependency take this scripture to heart the problem is

is that you are not giving from your heart

but rather from obligation

and your need to please

God calls us to be cheerful givers

Second Corinthians 9:7

not to give till it hurts

you want to guess what givers attract

takers and when you’re struggling with codependency it’s common to point the finger outward

at the taker

but what needs to happenis if you’re feeling resentful and can’t give cheerfully

you have to stop giving


Accusations of Being Controlling

but it’s not your true heart you see many codependents do not see themselves

as controlling people

in fact they feel the opposite

they feel defenseless and God has given us the ability to stand up for ourselves

and to not be victims

but the codependent’s desire to say no

now conflicts with their desire to be seen in that favorable light

so they take a more in direct approach to controlling

it’s called manipulation

usually by guilt

look i realize this can be a lot to take in

but awareness is the first step

so i want you to join us on future teachings on how to find freedom from codependency

in the meantime join me in asking the Galatians 1:10 question

am i now trying to win the approval of human beings or of God

if you are trying to please people my friend

you are not being a servant of christ

i’ve found that many people who struggle with codependency also struggle with toxic thinking

and if you want to know how toxic your thoughts are

i want to invite you to take our free

how toxic on my thoughts quiz

i will go ahead and include a link in the description section below

so be sure to join us next week as we divein to how to heal from codependency biblically

and if you’ve been enjoying this content on this channel my friend

i want toinvite you to become a member of Kris Reece Ministries

it is free to join and when you do you’re going to be sent a fresh new teaching every week

and you can respond to that email for prayer support from our ministry team

and you’ll also be able to respond to that email with questions t

hat could potentially be answered on our Building Faith Podcast

so go ahead

i’ll include a link in the description section below go to Kris Reece.com

member to join today

well that’s all the time that we have for today

until next time remember all things are possible with God

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