*          *         *          *          *

*          *         *          *          *

– Relationships & Mental Health: When Being Too Dependent Is a Disorder

– 18 Sad Signs You’re Emotionally Dependent on People not God

*          *         *          *          *


Emotions will either serve or master, depending on who is in charge.— 

Jim Rohn

*          *          *          *          *

When Jesus says you must leave your family to follow Him, he doesn’t necessarily mean physically.

He means leave your dependence on them, make an emotional break with them.— 

Anne Graham Lotz

*          *          *          *          *


Emotional dependency is a state of mind where a person is incapable of taking full responsibility for their own feelings. They do have emotions like sorrow, grief, heartbreak, anxiety, and depression but they cannot embrace, accept, or nurture these feelings.

*          *          *          *          *

When Being Too Dependent Is a Disorder

There is no transcript of this Youtube video (length -4:09 minutes)

*          *          *          *          *

*          *          *          *

*          *          *

*          *


Below is the transcript of this Youtube video (length -8:23 minutes)

is your need for love and affection insatiable

do you suffer distress when someone physically or emotionally withdraws from you

you could be struggling with emotional dependency on people

and in this episode i’m going to be talking about the signs that you are emotionally dependent

on people and not God

well hey my friend welcome back to another edition of the building faith podcast

i’m your host Chris Reese and itis my mission as always to provide you with biblical solutions

to life’s tough challenges

emotional dependency is when ongoing presence or nurturing of another is believed necessary for your personal security

it’s when your happiness is based upon someone else or the success of the relationship

it’s like an addiction

except in this case you’re not addicted to a substance but rather a person

and how they make you feel or how you’re hoping they’re going to make you feel

and we can even mistake the feelings of emotional dependency for love

look everyone needs to know that he or she is loved and approved of

and this ideally should come from our family of origin and when there is a secure attachment developed

in childhood we are better equipped to have healthy relationships with others and with God

but in the cases of insecure attachments the struggle is often exhibited through performance

if i can do enough

be enough

be good enough

then i will get the acceptance and the approval

and when your worth hinges on others you can easily slip into emotional dependency on people

emotional dependency can be on just about anybody


romantic partners


even friends

anyone that you put in the place of God

can actually become an emotional crutch for you

but God calls us to be in relationship and he calls us to actually have healthy interdependence on others

so how do you know if you’ve slipped from a healthy dependence on God to an ungodly dependence on people

today we’re going to talk about 17 no make it 18 signs that can alert you as indicators that you are

emotionally dependent on people not God



do you struggle with your worth and identity


Attention Seeking

do you get jealous if you are not the focus of their attention


Unsure of Yourself

do you frequently doubt yourself

your desires

your goals

your decisions


Unable to be Alone

do you struggle to enjoy frequent quality alone time without this person

do you experience panic and anger when this person withdraws


Need for Approval

are you always looking for theirapproval


Tolerating Toxic Behavior

and yes even abuse do you reason away their bad behavior



do you have trouble making even the smallest decisions it’s usually out of a fear of displeasing the other person


Low Self-Esteem and Self-Worth

do you constantly worry about not measuring up

do you question your identity in christ


Critical of Self and Others

do you frequently have something negative to say about yourself and other people


Frequently Anxious

do you often feel physical or emotiona languish are you unable to relax


Jealousy and Trust Issues

do you frequently express jealousy possessiveness in this relationship

do you often see others as a threat to it



are your actions driven by fear

fear of rejection

fear of confrontation

fear of loss



do you beat yourself up when your needs aren’t met


Playing the Victim

do you often blame others for not meeting your needs

do you feel like a martyr


is Poor Communication

do you struggle to express your needs for

a fear of rejection

a fear of abandonment

the loss of the relationship


Constant Need for Reassurance

are youfrequently checking in with the other person

to be sure that they’re okay

so you can feel okaynumber



do you often feel the need to control others

this is more often in a passive and manipulative manner and typically through guilt



do you frequently overthink and over evaluate what the other person means when they say or do something

my friend anyone can struggle with these traits from time to time

but an emotionally dependent or needy person will display these traits with much more frequency

than on occasion

and it’s not hard to fall into the emotional dependency trap

a traumatic event

an unloving upbringing and unnurturing

an unnurtured temperament

a dismissive parent can begin to turn our focus away from God’s love

and now turn it towards others in an attempt to get our emotional needs met

and we all need relationship and albeit some need it more than others

but what do you do when you feel like you can’t function without this relationship

you see the problem with emotional dependency is that it is insatiable

there is no one my friend that could possibly meet your needs for love and approval

but God can

He wants to be your source

He wants to be your all-in all

will you let Him

there are some serious dangers remaining in an emotionally dependent state

number one

it makes you prone to manipulation

you want to be a target for toxic people

stay emotionally dependent

number two

it actually can block your ability to hear from God

and we hear best from God when we are in communion and full submission to Him

being dependent emotionally on someone else will keep you actually reliant upon them not God

and the third

you actually don’t reach your full potential in life

an emotionally dependent person has difficulty seeing past their current need for love to the freedom

of living the abundant life

and our dependency should be on God and God alone

and He is so gracious to send us people to love but when we begin to use these people

to meet the needs that only God can

my friend we are bordering on abuse people

were never meant to be our source

God is our source

people are a resource

and when you make someone else your source you’re walking on very thin ice

and risk emotional and mental harm to and from people who are not able or designed to meet

that type of need and if you are struggling with emotional dependency

it’s likely that you have become a target for toxic people

and that’s why i want to invite you to graba copy of my free toxic people’s survival guide

i will go ahead and include a link in the description section if you’re listening on the podcast

jump on over to chrisrece.com

and you can grab that valuable resource if you are struggling with emotional dependency

i want to encourage you to check out my latest teaching on

how to heal from emotional dependency biblically

emotional dependency on people is satan’s counterfeit

to healing and restoration that takes place when your dependency is on God my friend

i pray that you will make Him your source

until next time remember all things are possible with God

*          *          *          *          *