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– You Have a Victim Mentality if…

– INFOCUS – The Victim Mentality

– 6 Compelling Bible Based Steps to Overcome Victim Mentality

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Someone once asked me how I hold my head up so high after all I’ve been through.

I said, it’s because no matter what,

I am a survivor.

Not a victim.

Patricia Buckley

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The only one who can truly victimize me is myself,

and 99 percent of the time I choose to do that no more.

Melody Beattie

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It’s impossible to hold up the banners of victim and victory at the same time.”

Lysa TerKeurst

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My moms always told me, ‘How long you gonna play the victim?’

I can say I’m mad and I hate everything,

but nothing really changes until I change myself.

Kendrick Lamar

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(This YouTube video is 3:59 in length, below is the transcript

You know you have a victim mentality if you’re

focused on yourself

everything goes through the lens of everyone’s an actor in my play

how everything affects me

ongoing pain

…. that happened quite a long time ago

and it hurts just as bad or worse

because of bitterness

then when it first happened

stuck in the past

no hope for the future

stuck- stuck- stuck in the past


not working on it

not learning about it

not trying to go forward


it’s a stronghold

it’s a pattern of thinking

stubbornly resistant to God’s Word and God’s will for us

come on now

I wish I could look at every person on every campus

just look up here for a minute

you got it

if you understand say


alright this is a stronghold that many in our family here are living in

what happened to me

what was said to me

what was done to me

and and

you get trapped

and you can’t get healthy

and you can’t get whole

and you can’t go forward

and we are destroying strongholds

so let’s get to the verse that shows that

chapter 49 the last verse (Genesis 49:33)

when Jacob finished commanding his sons

he drew up his feet into the bed and breathed his last

and was gathered to his people

he died

Joseph fell on his father’s face and wept over him and kissed him

interesting chapter 50 verse 15 (Genesis 50:15)

we’re getting real close to the game-changer here it comes

When Joseph’s brothers saw that their father was dead,

they said,

“What if Joseph holds a grudge against us

and pays us back for all the wrongs we did to him?”

see how they’re still trapped

so they send a message to Joseph

he was

you know pretty powerful

it wasn’t like they could just walk in and say hey bro

let’s just kind of talk about this

not at all

they kind of had to make an appointment

and they say

they send the message

please forgive the transgression of your brothers and their sin because they did evil to you

now please forgive transgression of the servants


Joseph wept

when they spoke to him

that sound like a bitter guy

so they come and say

remember all that stuff we did to you

remember all that stuff we did you

and we were afraid

now dad’s dead

you’re gonna

and he just starts crying

here’s the game changer

Genesis 50:20

you meant it for evil

but God meant it for good

game changer

that is like the last play of the game

everything is different when you get this

if you are stuck in a victim mentality

if you’re trapped beneath the weight of things that have happened to you

this verse changes everything

you see

I’m not under the power of another person

I’m under the power of a God

who has everything under His power

including me

including those who are against me


right write this down

only the Lord can move us beyond the pain and abuse of betrayal

but he can

and he will

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(This YouTube video is 9:54 in length, below is the transcript)

you know I was studying as I often do

lots of things about personal development

about success

training and I will be doing a teaching at some point

which I’ll be able to take around

on from a biblical point of view

for the body

on personal development and success training

that kind of thing

and but one of the things it talked about in the training was

the victim mentality


and the the connection

I’m gonna – I’m gonna

address it to this

because everything that these guys teach -really is from here

if it’s gonna actually work

but the victim mentality

is in complete opposition to success

in any form

so if you want to consider success

be hearing the words

well done you good and trustworthy servant

Matthew 25:21

no victim is ever going to hear that

what’s a victim

the person who points the finger

complains and


if you’re a victim and walking around in a victim mentality


I’m not saying that if something happens to you

that someone perpetrated on you

you’re actually called the victim

but I’m saying if you’re gonna walk around with a victim intrinsic nature

if you’re gonna have your whole nature be

your essence be

a victimized

I’m a victim

well its their fault

you point the finger

you complain and

you justify everything

guess what

that’s never going to get you any sort of success

in any level

not physical

that means your health

not physical meaning

the things you own in the place

you live and monetary things

not spiritual like in your walk

not in your Shalom (Peace)

not in your

victims all they do is end up in suffering

it’s a tortured mentality

it only briefs more suffering

and so Ha-satan (“the accuser” or “the adversary” -Satan) wants to keep you in that victim place

oh you’re not gonna take that from so and so

oh really it’s not your fault

it’s their fault

oh I think you ought to complain about that

that’s not fair

right it’s

Ha-satan all he wants you to do is

be a victim

think like a victim

instead of taking responsibility

but we’ve read about that in a previous teachings in Ezekiel

were it talks about that what the father did

the son is still gonna be out on his own

in other words

that the father was righteous and the Sun does evil

the son is gonna reap what he sowed

he’s not going to get to stand on his father’s righteousness

and if the father was wicked and the son does righteousness

the son gets to be receiving what he did as a righteous one

he doesn’t get punished for his father being wicked

oh but

you know the son could easily say

oh well you know it’s my father’s fault

you know

because my father would – he did all these evil things

and my father bla-bla-bla

so easily that could be the case


where he could have that victim mentality

pointing the finger

complaining and justifying

well you know

it’s really not my fault


it’s really not your fault

I’m gonna agree with one thing

it’s really not your fault

how you got to this moment

but now every moment after this is your fault

you get to choose

as soon as you come to realize that there is a choice

everything from that moment forward is on you not anybody else

you no longer can point the finger and blame

because maybe you didn’t have any control over some of the things that got you to where you are now because you didn’t know

there were choices

a lot of you grew up

not knowing you had choices

I see the heads and I know

you didn’t know there was options and choices

but as soon asyou knew

as soon as that revelation was given to you

as soon as that clarity came to your consciousness

you are now responsible


separate from all that other stuff for where you go from here

oh but people don’t want that

that’s such a burden

or I mean I that’s now it’s on me

will that scares the life out of everybody

what do you mean it’s on me

now I’ve got to be on


it’s on you

you will reap what you sow

Galatians 6:7

it doesn’t say you’re gonna reap what I sow

or somebody else sow

do your grandparents or your parents or your boss or whatever

you were gonna reap what you sow

but you still have to first have your mind open


we talk about eyes to see

ears to hear

hearts to receive

that’s all in Scripture

Yahweh (Father God) says that

you know

he gives those things

Yeshua (Jesus) says that it’s the Father that gives those things

and that He gives those things to open your eyes open

your ears

so we don’t we sang that

in some of these songs

that we sing in the previous

last week

we sang

open my eyes



so you pray for your eyes to beopen

but guess what

once they’re opened

no excuses

all your excuses are gone

so if you like having excuses keep your blinders on

but you’re never going to get anywhere

so this is that whole victim mentality

that is with the yet ——– to make you think

oh you know

it’s everybody’s fault but mine

and we all have done this

or we have very close relatives that are doing this

right now

and we’re tired of hearing it

or friends

or people we work with

and all they ever do is point the finger

instead of looking in the mirror and saying

there’s the problem

the problem has always been

will always be you

by the way that’s why

the solution is really so easy

because you could find the solution in you to

not meaning they’ll be discounting Him

but you’re coming in line with Him

doesn’t require anybody else

if you can get you


you know it’s Father and you Inc.

you know like I say those businesses like

father and son

those father-son businesses

well its father-son


you guys are a partnership

you don’t need anybody else

it’s nice to have other people

it’s nice to have family and friends

but you don’t need them

so stop using that as an excuse


no victims in the kingdom

I promise you only victorious people

you know you get to be victorious

stop acting like a victim


victims never succeed

never have anything

you cannot be a rich victim

you can’t be a wealthy victim

you can’t have be a victim with peace and Shalom

you can’t

there’s nothing you want that comes out of being a victim

blaming complaining and justifying

and I know you that you’re gonna go home and think

oh I don’t do that

well do you


yeah you do

but you don’t do it in every aspect of your life

but there’s still areas where you are still having roadblocks to growth

because you’re still justifying why you’re not growing

or you’re justifying why somebody else is

you know


point the finger and

to fight

we gotta cut that out

and it’s

the enemy that is just loving that going


it’s their fault no of course it’s not your fault


you how Ha-satan is the king of codependency

he’s the king enabler and wants you to think

you’re entitled to everything

after all he thinks he’s entitled he

thinks he should be in charge


wel l why do you get to be in charge

isn’t that the same mindset – intrinsic nature spirit

that you’re gonna see

as we go through the Torah (Bible) portions

you see that in Korahs

well Moses

you know

well how come you’re in charge

why can’t I be in charge

I mean you and your brother

you got a nice racket going on here (Numbers 26:9 Jude 1:11)

you see that nature

instead know

a victim cannot do certain things

a victim can’t do

you know what a victim can’t do


no appreciation whatsoever

if yourvictim

how can you appreciate anything

if you’re whining and complaining and blaming and pointing the finger

but nothing really goes forward without appreciation

you know scripture tells us that

the one who is given

who does something with it

is given more

and the one who was given

and does nothing with it

it’s taken away

so what does that mean

it means that when you complain about not having more

well let’s ask the first question

is do you appreciate what you have

are you doing as much as you can with what you have

have you made every effort

the answer is almost always


sorry it’s a wake up call and I’m not in a good mood today

I’m in a great mood

but I have to

I can’t coddle you with this

every aspect of your life

if you have a victim thought process in place

a victim spirit

and it’s not an outside entity that possesses you

but it’s a mindset that you can tie into

if you have that

that area of your life is going to be miserable

it’s not going to be successful

it’s not going to be what you really want it to be

but let’s put it this way in your life




in your health

in your relationships

you are exactly where you want to be


because you sabotage those things

because you don’t really see those things correctly

there’s so much stuff going on in you

that we need to clean up

and we’ll be doing that over the next couple of months

we’ll see

but you do

I mean cuz some of you will say

why I do well up to a point

then somehow it always blows up

but because you don’t see yourself being

either deserving of it worthy of it

or a capable of it

o rsome other thing

most of you suffer not from

a fear of failure

but a fear of success

and that road blocks you in your spiritual life

and your physical life

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6 Compelling Bible Based Steps to Overcome Victim Mentality

(This YouTube video is 12:05 in length, below is the transcript)

a victim according to webster’s dictionary

is a person who has been





cheated or


by someone else or

harmed by an unpleasant event

well hey my friend welcome back to another edition of the building faith podcast

it is my hope to bring you biblical solutions to life’s tough challenges so go ahead and hit that subscribe and notification button

everyone gets






in some form during their lifetime

if not physically

then emotionally and

everyone gets harmed by unpleasant events

we’re all victims in moments to life’s challenges and difficulties and life’s life-ness

Jesus was even clear in John 16:33 when he said

…that in this life you will have trouble

but take heart I have overcome the world.

so this doesn’t mean that we ignore our circumstances and the feelings that are associated with them

but what do you do when you feel like a victim all the time regardless of your circumstancesthose

with a victim mentality

always feel victimized

they constantly feel like they have a victim identity and

a victim mentality is like a drug

that makes you feel good for a little bit but

slowly begins to suck the life right out of you

if you have a victim mentality

you will see your entire life through a perspective that things constantly happen to you

victimization is thus a combination of seeing most things in life as negative and

beyond your control and

as something that you should be given sympathy for

experiencing as you deserve better and

at its heart

a victim mentality is actually

a way to avoid taking responsibility for yourself and for your life

look by believing that you have no power

so there foreyou don’t have to take action

now before we go any further let’s make a critical distinction here

there is a such thing as an innocent victim

such persons suffer because of another person’s sins and

we see this clearly in scripture for example

oppressing the innocent victim is condemned by God

throughout scripture

Jesus himself was the victim of human wickedness and

the New Testament affirms the unjust persecution that many christians have suffered

people can be innocent victims

we can suffer unjust evil at the hands of others

we need to be aware of moving from being an innocent victim

to adopting a victim mentality and

in thecase of other victims

we should affirm the reality of their suffering as we have the opportunity to address it but

we do give them a grave disservice if we allow ourselves to fall into a victim mentality and

when we look into scripture God’s believers are never victims they’re victors

Romans 8:37 reminds us

...that in all things we are more than conquerors

through him who loved us.

but you have the responsibility to walk in the victory

my friend

that’s not going to be forced upon you and

one of the k keys to walking in victory is living according to the truth and

that means having a Godly mindset over your circumstances

thoughts are actions of the mind and you can choose your thought patterns

I know that’s revelation for some people

so how do you overcome a victim mindset and

walk in God’s victory

well let’s take Six Steps

Step Number One

stop making excuses

oh yeah but

you don’t know what I’m going through or

oh you’ve got it so good

you don’t understand my friend

I hear words like this all the time when someone is trying to encourage another person

out of a victim mindset

the problem with having to have others understand or

know what you’re going through or

be able to relate

is that until you feel understood

which may never happen

this mindset almost gives you permission to stay stuck

in other words

you’rerequiring that someone else come in and override your thoughts for you

which they can’t do and

even if they could

you wouldn’t let them because

you’re looking for a reason to stay stuck

the truth is someone will always have it worse than you and

better than you and

it doesn’t matter if someone doesn’t understand or

hasn’t been where you are or

has had it 20 times worse or 10 times better

this is your mindset and

it will either cause you to walk in victory or defeat and

you can continue to blame others for

the defeats and

the challenges and

settling for less

than God’s best for your life or

you can choose to embrace the truth

everyone has a choice

so how is it that someone who lost their entire family and

moved from one foster home to another

can grow up and

decide to make some-something of themselves

where someone else becomes

an alcoholic and continues to blame their circumstances

Step Number Two

take ownership for your needs

in most cases of victimhood

the battle is more in the mind and

it stems from the inability or

the unwillingness to take ownership for one’s wants and

needs and often times we put the expectation of our needs onto others

some in cases of not even communicating them and

then when they don’t meet our needs

instead of getting up and meeting our needs ourselves or

properly communicating that need

we use it as an opportunity to prove that others just aren’t treating us the way we deserve and

therefore they’re the bad guy and

if they’re the bad guy I must be the victim and

if you feel powerless

my friend I want to encourage you to get help in dealing with that

if someone is violating your needs

learn to set boundaries

you’re not a victim and

thi sother person’s bad behavior does not automatically make you a good person

not only with others but within your own mind

you have to decide that you will think according to God’s truth

saying uh see I knew this wouldn’t work out or

God is just against me or

oh gosh I’ve prayed for so long God must be ignoring me

my friend these are all victim thoughts

that are not biblical

Step Number Three

see yourself And God correctly

when we slip into a victim mentality

our vision is a little distorted

when we don’t when-when we see ourselves as victims

we aren’t viewing through the lens of scripture

we’re viewing through the lens of experience and that is dangerous

especially when it spills over into and

it often does

our view of God

instead of seeing God as

our provider

our justice

our avenger

our guide

we see Him as

just someone else who’s abandoned and

forgotten us

my friend

what does God say about you

does scripture say that you’re a victim

no it says you are a victorious creation in Christ

so what do you say about God

do you say that God has forgotten you

rather than believing His word

that He will never leave you or forsake you

Step Number Four

find the root

before you construct the next narrative in your head that justifies your victim position against the person

who is stealing your power

ask the Holy Spirit to reveal to you

where this began

ask Him to reveal the root

perhaps it was a toxic parent

that caused you to feel under valued and unloved or

a family member

that betrayed your trust

no matter the source

I assure you my friend

Jesus can heal all wounds but

sometimes it’s helpful to get additional help to work through those residual emotions

that have seeped into other areas of your life and

we have connected with faithful counseling

if you need a counseling referral

I will go ahead and put a link in the description section below

Step Number Five


you may be thinking

why do I need to repent

what do I need to repent of

they’re the ones that wronged me

a victim mentality

always points the blame outward and

it looks at the speck in others eyes and avoids that log in our own eye


except in cases of violence or abuse

where we are actual innocent victims

there’s nothing that you need to repent of except allowing yourself to stay stuck in a victim mentality and

not believing God’s sovereign justice will prevail in your life but

for many with a victim mentality

it shows up in everyday interactions

a victim mentality

magnifies the harm that is done to us and

it blinds us to our own sin

it tells us a false narrative

explaining our situation

so that blame lies exclusively with other people or


a friend

God never calls us victims of our circumstances

we are called to take responsibility for our actions and

while your actions may not have caused the hurt

the mental actions that are keeping you there

need to be repented of and

Step Number Six


once you’ve discovered the root

forgiveness will need to take place

I have no doubt my friend

that you were wronged and

I find it helpful

when I want to stay justified in my anger

to remind myself that Jesus was the most wrongman ever to walk the earth and

instead of hanging on the cross


oh I can’t believe this after all I’ve done for these people

I just came to love them and

they don’t see it and

look what I’m trying to do and they’re blaming me for everything

my friend

He didn’t do that

here’s what he said

father forgive them for they do not know what they’re doing

now you may be saying to me

Chris this person knows exactly what they’re doing and

maybe I could also argue

so did we when

we sin against God and

after you have forgiven your offender

my friend

it might be time to turn that forgiveness unto yourself

no matter your circumstances

no matter what you’ve faced in life

no matter what has happened to you or

is happening

my friend

if you are in Christ you are an overcomer

this does not mean that we won’t face hardships

it means that even in hardships we can be victorious because

we belong to God and

as Christ followers this does not mean that we don’t deal with difficulties

it means that in the midst of the difficulties that I continue to believe that God wins in the end and so will I

the victorious believer does not allow their outer circumstances to diminish their inner joy

the victorious believer does not allow the actions of others to steal their peace

in persecution we have God’s protection

in loneliness we have God’s presence

even in death we have eternal salvation

well my friend

I’d love to continue thec onversation with you below or we can connect on instagram but

in the meantime

if you’re wondering just how toxic your thoughts are I want to invite you to take our free

how toxic are my thoughts quiz and

if you are ready to renew your mind to the truth

I want you to check out my new course called renew your mind

it will help you to walk through a four-step formula to control your mind and thus allow God

to transform your life and

if you are wondering if you have a victim mentality

that God is trying to break go ahead and check out this video

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