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– You Have a Victim Mentality if…
– INFOCUS – The Victim Mentality
– 6 Compelling Bible Based Steps to Overcome Victim Mentality
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Quotes:
Someone once asked me how I hold my head up so high after all I’ve been through.
I said, it’s because no matter what,
I am a survivor.
Not a victim.
Patricia Buckley
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The only one who can truly victimize me is myself,
and 99 percent of the time I choose to do that no more.
Melody Beattie
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“It’s impossible to hold up the banners of victim and victory at the same time.”
Lysa TerKeurst
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My moms always told me, ‘How long you gonna play the victim?’
I can say I’m mad and I hate everything,
but nothing really changes until I change myself.
Kendrick Lamar
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You Have a Victim Mentality if…
(This YouTube video is 3:59 in length, below is the transcript
You know you have a victim mentality if you’re
focused on yourself
everything goes through the lens of everyone’s an actor in my play
how everything affects me
ongoing pain
…. that happened quite a long time ago
and it hurts just as bad or worse
because of bitterness
then when it first happened
stuck in the past
no hope for the future
stuck- stuck- stuck in the past
paralyzed
not working on it
not learning about it
not trying to go forward
stronghold
it’s a stronghold
it’s a pattern of thinking
stubbornly resistant to God’s Word and God’s will for us
come on now
I wish I could look at every person on every campus
just look up here for a minute
you got it
if you understand say
check
alright this is a stronghold that many in our family here are living in
what happened to me
what was said to me
what was done to me
and and
you get trapped
and you can’t get healthy
and you can’t get whole
and you can’t go forward
and we are destroying strongholds
so let’s get to the verse that shows that
chapter 49 the last verse (Genesis 49:33)
when Jacob finished commanding his sons
he drew up his feet into the bed and breathed his last
and was gathered to his people
he died
Joseph fell on his father’s face and wept over him and kissed him
interesting chapter 50 verse 15 (Genesis 50:15)
we’re getting real close to the game-changer here it comes
When Joseph’s brothers saw that their father was dead,
they said,
“What if Joseph holds a grudge against us
and pays us back for all the wrongs we did to him?”
see how they’re still trapped
so they send a message to Joseph
he was
you know pretty powerful
it wasn’t like they could just walk in and say hey bro
let’s just kind of talk about this
not at all
they kind of had to make an appointment
and they say
they send the message
please forgive the transgression of your brothers and their sin because they did evil to you
now please forgive transgression of the servants
interestingly
Joseph wept
when they spoke to him
that sound like a bitter guy
so they come and say
remember all that stuff we did to you
remember all that stuff we did you
and we were afraid
now dad’s dead
you’re gonna
and he just starts crying
here’s the game changer
you meant it for evil
but God meant it for good
game changer
that is like the last play of the game
everything is different when you get this
if you are stuck in a victim mentality
if you’re trapped beneath the weight of things that have happened to you
this verse changes everything
you see
I’m not under the power of another person
I’m under the power of a God
who has everything under His power
including me
including those who are against me
only
right write this down
only the Lord can move us beyond the pain and abuse of betrayal
but he can
and he will
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INFOCUS – The Victim Mentality
(This YouTube video is 9:54 in length, below is the transcript)
you know I was studying as I often do
lots of things about personal development
about success
training and I will be doing a teaching at some point
which I’ll be able to take around
on from a biblical point of view
for the body
on personal development and success training
that kind of thing
and but one of the things it talked about in the training was
the victim mentality
okay
and the the connection
I’m gonna – I’m gonna
address it to this
because everything that these guys teach -really is from here
if it’s gonna actually work
but the victim mentality
is in complete opposition to success
in any form
so if you want to consider success
be hearing the words
well done you good and trustworthy servant
no victim is ever going to hear that
what’s a victim
the person who points the finger
complains and
justifies
if you’re a victim and walking around in a victim mentality
okay
I’m not saying that if something happens to you
that someone perpetrated on you
you’re actually called the victim
but I’m saying if you’re gonna walk around with a victim intrinsic nature
if you’re gonna have your whole nature be
your essence be
a victimized
I’m a victim
well its their fault
you point the finger
you complain and
you justify everything
guess what
that’s never going to get you any sort of success
in any level
not physical
that means your health
not physical meaning
the things you own in the place
you live and monetary things
not spiritual like in your walk
not in your Shalom (Peace)
not in your
victims all they do is end up in suffering
it’s a tortured mentality
it only briefs more suffering
and so Ha-satan (“the accuser” or “the adversary” -Satan) wants to keep you in that victim place
oh you’re not gonna take that from so and so
oh really it’s not your fault
it’s their fault
oh I think you ought to complain about that
that’s not fair
right it’s
Ha-satan all he wants you to do is
be a victim
think like a victim
instead of taking responsibility
but we’ve read about that in a previous teachings in Ezekiel
were it talks about that what the father did
the son is still gonna be out on his own
in other words
that the father was righteous and the Sun does evil
the son is gonna reap what he sowed
he’s not going to get to stand on his father’s righteousness
and if the father was wicked and the son does righteousness
the son gets to be receiving what he did as a righteous one
he doesn’t get punished for his father being wicked
oh but
you know the son could easily say
oh well you know it’s my father’s fault
you know
because my father would – he did all these evil things
and my father bla-bla-bla
so easily that could be the case
right
where he could have that victim mentality
pointing the finger
complaining and justifying
well you know
it’s really not my fault
bla-bla-bla
it’s really not your fault
I’m gonna agree with one thing
it’s really not your fault
how you got to this moment
but now every moment after this is your fault
you get to choose
as soon as you come to realize that there is a choice
everything from that moment forward is on you not anybody else
you no longer can point the finger and blame
because maybe you didn’t have any control over some of the things that got you to where you are now because you didn’t know
there were choices
a lot of you grew up
not knowing you had choices
I see the heads and I know
you didn’t know there was options and choices
but as soon asyou knew
as soon as that revelation was given to you
as soon as that clarity came to your consciousness
you are now responsible
completely
separate from all that other stuff for where you go from here
oh but people don’t want that
that’s such a burden
or I mean I that’s now it’s on me
will that scares the life out of everybody
what do you mean it’s on me
now I’ve got to be on
yes
it’s on you
you will reap what you sow
it doesn’t say you’re gonna reap what I sow
or somebody else sow
do your grandparents or your parents or your boss or whatever
you were gonna reap what you sow
but you still have to first have your mind open
right
we talk about eyes to see
ears to hear
hearts to receive
that’s all in Scripture
Yahweh (Father God) says that
you know
he gives those things
Yeshua (Jesus) says that it’s the Father that gives those things
and that He gives those things to open your eyes open
your ears
so we don’t we sang that
in some of these songs
that we sing in the previous
last week
we sang
open my eyes
right
okay
so you pray for your eyes to beopen
but guess what
once they’re opened
no excuses
all your excuses are gone
so if you like having excuses keep your blinders on
but you’re never going to get anywhere
so this is that whole victim mentality
that is with the yet ——– to make you think
oh you know
it’s everybody’s fault but mine
and we all have done this
or we have very close relatives that are doing this
right now
and we’re tired of hearing it
or friends
or people we work with
and all they ever do is point the finger
instead of looking in the mirror and saying
there’s the problem
the problem has always been
will always be you
by the way that’s why
the solution is really so easy
because you could find the solution in you to
not meaning they’ll be discounting Him
but you’re coming in line with Him
doesn’t require anybody else
if you can get you
working
you know it’s Father and you Inc.
you know like I say those businesses like
father and son
those father-son businesses
well its father-son
father/daughter
you guys are a partnership
you don’t need anybody else
it’s nice to have other people
it’s nice to have family and friends
but you don’t need them
so stop using that as an excuse
okay
no victims in the kingdom
I promise you only victorious people
you know you get to be victorious
stop acting like a victim
okay
victims never succeed
never have anything
you cannot be a rich victim
you can’t be a wealthy victim
you can’t have be a victim with peace and Shalom
you can’t
there’s nothing you want that comes out of being a victim
blaming complaining and justifying
and I know you that you’re gonna go home and think
oh I don’t do that
well do you
really
yeah you do
but you don’t do it in every aspect of your life
but there’s still areas where you are still having roadblocks to growth
because you’re still justifying why you’re not growing
or you’re justifying why somebody else is
you know
blame
point the finger and
to fight
we gotta cut that out
and it’s
the enemy that is just loving that going
yes-yes
it’s their fault no of course it’s not your fault
coddling
you how Ha-satan is the king of codependency
he’s the king enabler and wants you to think
you’re entitled to everything
after all he thinks he’s entitled he
thinks he should be in charge
okay
wel l why do you get to be in charge
isn’t that the same mindset – intrinsic nature spirit
that you’re gonna see
as we go through the Torah (Bible) portions
you see that in Korahs
well Moses
you know
well how come you’re in charge
why can’t I be in charge
I mean you and your brother
you got a nice racket going on here (Numbers 26:9 –Jude 1:11)
you see that nature
instead know
a victim cannot do certain things
a victim can’t do
you know what a victim can’t do
appreciate
no appreciation whatsoever
if yourvictim
how can you appreciate anything
if you’re whining and complaining and blaming and pointing the finger
but nothing really goes forward without appreciation
you know scripture tells us that
the one who is given
who does something with it
is given more
and the one who was given
and does nothing with it
it’s taken away
so what does that mean
it means that when you complain about not having more
well let’s ask the first question
is do you appreciate what you have
are you doing as much as you can with what you have
have you made every effort
the answer is almost always
no
sorry it’s a wake up call and I’m not in a good mood today
I’m in a great mood
but I have to
I can’t coddle you with this
every aspect of your life
if you have a victim thought process in place
a victim spirit
and it’s not an outside entity that possesses you
but it’s a mindset that you can tie into
if you have that
that area of your life is going to be miserable
it’s not going to be successful
it’s not going to be what you really want it to be
but let’s put it this way in your life
physically
spiritually
emotionally
in your health
in your relationships
you are exactly where you want to be
what
because you sabotage those things
because you don’t really see those things correctly
there’s so much stuff going on in you
that we need to clean up
and we’ll be doing that over the next couple of months
we’ll see
but you do
I mean cuz some of you will say
why I do well up to a point
then somehow it always blows up
but because you don’t see yourself being
either deserving of it worthy of it
or a capable of it
o rsome other thing
most of you suffer not from
a fear of failure
but a fear of success
and that road blocks you in your spiritual life
and your physical life
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6 Compelling Bible Based Steps to Overcome Victim Mentality
(This YouTube video is 12:05 in length, below is the transcript)
a victim according to webster’s dictionary
is a person who has been
attacked
injured
robbed
killed
cheated or
fooled
by someone else or
harmed by an unpleasant event
well hey my friend welcome back to another edition of the building faith podcast
it is my hope to bring you biblical solutions to life’s tough challenges so go ahead and hit that subscribe and notification button
everyone gets
attacked
injured
cheated
fooled
harmed
in some form during their lifetime
if not physically
then emotionally and
everyone gets harmed by unpleasant events
we’re all victims in moments to life’s challenges and difficulties and life’s life-ness
Jesus was even clear in John 16:33 when he said
…that in this life you will have trouble
but take heart I have overcome the world.
so this doesn’t mean that we ignore our circumstances and the feelings that are associated with them
but what do you do when you feel like a victim all the time regardless of your circumstancesthose
with a victim mentality
always feel victimized
they constantly feel like they have a victim identity and
a victim mentality is like a drug
that makes you feel good for a little bit but
slowly begins to suck the life right out of you
if you have a victim mentality
you will see your entire life through a perspective that things constantly happen to you
victimization is thus a combination of seeing most things in life as negative and
beyond your control and
as something that you should be given sympathy for
experiencing as you deserve better and
at its heart
a victim mentality is actually
a way to avoid taking responsibility for yourself and for your life
look by believing that you have no power
so there foreyou don’t have to take action
now before we go any further let’s make a critical distinction here
there is a such thing as an innocent victim
such persons suffer because of another person’s sins and
we see this clearly in scripture for example
oppressing the innocent victim is condemned by God
throughout scripture
Jesus himself was the victim of human wickedness and
the New Testament affirms the unjust persecution that many christians have suffered
people can be innocent victims
we can suffer unjust evil at the hands of others
we need to be aware of moving from being an innocent victim
to adopting a victim mentality and
in thecase of other victims
we should affirm the reality of their suffering as we have the opportunity to address it but
we do give them a grave disservice if we allow ourselves to fall into a victim mentality and
when we look into scripture God’s believers are never victims they’re victors
Romans 8:37 reminds us
...that in all things we are more than conquerors
through him who loved us.
but you have the responsibility to walk in the victory
my friend
that’s not going to be forced upon you and
one of the k keys to walking in victory is living according to the truth and
that means having a Godly mindset over your circumstances
thoughts are actions of the mind and you can choose your thought patterns
I know that’s revelation for some people
so how do you overcome a victim mindset and
walk in God’s victory
well let’s take Six Steps
Step Number One
stop making excuses
oh yeah but
you don’t know what I’m going through or
oh you’ve got it so good
you don’t understand my friend
I hear words like this all the time when someone is trying to encourage another person
out of a victim mindset
the problem with having to have others understand or
know what you’re going through or
be able to relate
is that until you feel understood
which may never happen
this mindset almost gives you permission to stay stuck
in other words
you’rerequiring that someone else come in and override your thoughts for you
which they can’t do and
even if they could
you wouldn’t let them because
you’re looking for a reason to stay stuck
the truth is someone will always have it worse than you and
better than you and
it doesn’t matter if someone doesn’t understand or
hasn’t been where you are or
has had it 20 times worse or 10 times better
this is your mindset and
it will either cause you to walk in victory or defeat and
you can continue to blame others for
the defeats and
the challenges and
settling for less
than God’s best for your life or
you can choose to embrace the truth
everyone has a choice
so how is it that someone who lost their entire family and
moved from one foster home to another
can grow up and
decide to make some-something of themselves
where someone else becomes
an alcoholic and continues to blame their circumstances
Step Number Two
take ownership for your needs
in most cases of victimhood
the battle is more in the mind and
it stems from the inability or
the unwillingness to take ownership for one’s wants and
needs and often times we put the expectation of our needs onto others
some in cases of not even communicating them and
then when they don’t meet our needs
instead of getting up and meeting our needs ourselves or
properly communicating that need
we use it as an opportunity to prove that others just aren’t treating us the way we deserve and
therefore they’re the bad guy and
if they’re the bad guy I must be the victim and
if you feel powerless
my friend I want to encourage you to get help in dealing with that
if someone is violating your needs
learn to set boundaries
you’re not a victim and
thi sother person’s bad behavior does not automatically make you a good person
not only with others but within your own mind
you have to decide that you will think according to God’s truth
saying uh see I knew this wouldn’t work out or
God is just against me or
oh gosh I’ve prayed for so long God must be ignoring me
my friend these are all victim thoughts
that are not biblical
Step Number Three
see yourself And God correctly
when we slip into a victim mentality
our vision is a little distorted
when we don’t when-when we see ourselves as victims
we aren’t viewing through the lens of scripture
we’re viewing through the lens of experience and that is dangerous
especially when it spills over into and
it often does
our view of God
instead of seeing God as
our provider
our justice
our avenger
our guide
we see Him as
just someone else who’s abandoned and
forgotten us
my friend
what does God say about you
does scripture say that you’re a victim
no it says you are a victorious creation in Christ
so what do you say about God
do you say that God has forgotten you
rather than believing His word
that He will never leave you or forsake you
Step Number Four
find the root
before you construct the next narrative in your head that justifies your victim position against the person
who is stealing your power
ask the Holy Spirit to reveal to you
where this began
ask Him to reveal the root
perhaps it was a toxic parent
that caused you to feel under valued and unloved or
a family member
that betrayed your trust
no matter the source
I assure you my friend
Jesus can heal all wounds but
sometimes it’s helpful to get additional help to work through those residual emotions
that have seeped into other areas of your life and
we have connected with faithful counseling
if you need a counseling referral
I will go ahead and put a link in the description section below
Step Number Five
repent
you may be thinking
why do I need to repent
what do I need to repent of
they’re the ones that wronged me
a victim mentality
always points the blame outward and
it looks at the speck in others eyes and avoids that log in our own eye
again
except in cases of violence or abuse
where we are actual innocent victims
there’s nothing that you need to repent of except allowing yourself to stay stuck in a victim mentality and
not believing God’s sovereign justice will prevail in your life but
for many with a victim mentality
it shows up in everyday interactions
a victim mentality
magnifies the harm that is done to us and
it blinds us to our own sin
it tells us a false narrative
explaining our situation
so that blame lies exclusively with other people or
circumstances
a friend
God never calls us victims of our circumstances
we are called to take responsibility for our actions and
while your actions may not have caused the hurt
the mental actions that are keeping you there
need to be repented of and
Step Number Six
forgive
once you’ve discovered the root
forgiveness will need to take place
I have no doubt my friend
that you were wronged and
I find it helpful
when I want to stay justified in my anger
to remind myself that Jesus was the most wrongman ever to walk the earth and
instead of hanging on the cross
saying
oh I can’t believe this after all I’ve done for these people
I just came to love them and
they don’t see it and
look what I’m trying to do and they’re blaming me for everything
my friend
He didn’t do that
here’s what he said
father forgive them for they do not know what they’re doing
now you may be saying to me
Chris this person knows exactly what they’re doing and
maybe I could also argue
so did we when
we sin against God and
after you have forgiven your offender
my friend
it might be time to turn that forgiveness unto yourself
no matter your circumstances
no matter what you’ve faced in life
no matter what has happened to you or
is happening
my friend
if you are in Christ you are an overcomer
this does not mean that we won’t face hardships
it means that even in hardships we can be victorious because
we belong to God and
as Christ followers this does not mean that we don’t deal with difficulties
it means that in the midst of the difficulties that I continue to believe that God wins in the end and so will I
the victorious believer does not allow their outer circumstances to diminish their inner joy
the victorious believer does not allow the actions of others to steal their peace
in persecution we have God’s protection
in loneliness we have God’s presence
even in death we have eternal salvation
well my friend
I’d love to continue thec onversation with you below or we can connect on instagram but
in the meantime
if you’re wondering just how toxic your thoughts are I want to invite you to take our free
how toxic are my thoughts quiz and
if you are ready to renew your mind to the truth
I want you to check out my new course called renew your mind
it will help you to walk through a four-step formula to control your mind and thus allow God
to transform your life and
if you are wondering if you have a victim mentality
that God is trying to break go ahead and check out this video
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