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– The Danger of Being Easily Offended
– 4 Biblical Tips to Not Be So Easily Offended
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Quotes:
Being easily offended is a sign of selfishness, insecurity, and lack of wisdom.
It appears as a small problem,
but in reality it will keep you from experiencing
joy, peace, and God’s best for your life.
Author Unknown
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JUST BECAUSE YOU’RE OFFENDED.
DOESN’T MEAN YOU’RE RIGHT
Ricky Garvais
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An offended heart is the breeding ground
of deception.
John Bevere
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The Danger of Being Easily Offended – Bill Johnson
(This YouTube video is 10:41 in length, below is the transcript)
I don’t want the the poison of offense to cloud my my vision
my scene
I don’t want it to affect my thinking
my reasoning
because if it does –
that’s the target
the target is to get a fence
to get bitterness
envy
any of these things to get it some where influencing the reasoning
so that I’m not able to demonstrate the heart of God on planet earth
in the measure He desires
let’s go to James chapter three
what we’re going to see here is
we recognize that the devil doesn’t come to us in a red rubber suit
with horns and a pitchfork
he doesn’t make himself known as the devil
he makes himself known as something we would value
he actually has to parade his thoughts as virtuous thoughts
for us to embrace them
that was a good point bill
that was a really good point
he has to actually parade
what bible calls him the angel of light
so he has to parade himself in away
where we think or
feel that we are discerning or
moving in some sort of a virtue
the problem is good conduct that his works for Don
is that way of life
that way of thinking
does not carry peace with it
it does not bear the fruit of peace or righteousness
so let’s go into this passage out of James chapter 3. verse 13
Who is wise and understanding among you
let him show by good conduct that his works are done
in the meekness of wisdom
I love that phrase
meekness of wisdom
my goodness don’t pursue wisdom without meekness
meekness is not weakness
meekness isn’t weakness
meekness is yielded strength
the biblical illustration of meekness
is the wild horse that becomes trained
is the wild horse to become a trend
is still strong to jump the biggest fence
it just only does it at the commander’s word
if you have bitter
envy
self-seeking in your hearts
do not boast and lie against the truth
this wisdom does not descend from above
but is earthly sensual and demonic
for where envy and self-seeking exist
confusion and every evil thing are there
but the wisdom that is from above
is first pure
then peaceable
gentle willing to yield
(interesting)
full of mercy and good fruits
without partiality and without hypocrisy
now the fruit of righteousness is sown in peace
by those who make peace
go back to verse 14 and 15
and then I want to talk to you for a bit
if you have bitter – envy- self-seeking in your heart
do not boast and lie against the truth
look at this phrase
this wisdom does not descend from above
but is earthly essential and demonic
what’s the key here
bitterness
offense
jealousy
envy
all of these things
carry with it the appearance of wisdom
that’s why a Christian would embrace it
it makes us feel
discerning
it just doesn’t bear the fruit of peace
of righteous living
if I were to call out what I think is
the number one
enemy
that I’ve seen at work in the Body of Christ in the last two years
it would be offense
and it’s it’s connected to this right here
it appears as wisdom
it comes with reason
have you ever met a bitter person
that didn’t have a good reason
it’s their reasoning
offense is that way
I’ve been on a little journey myself for the last
i’ve mentioned it before and a few months ago
but over the last I would say maybe six months
I-I’ve been asking the Lord
man I don’t want
I don’t want any trace of offense in my heart about anything ever
I don’t want to live under that influence and
I-I to be honest with you
I-I’m one of the most forgiving people I know and
I-I’m I’m
that’s an arrogant thing to say
but I really don’t care
at this point I
I-I honestly
I-I am so quick to forgive
and yet I’ve asked the Lord
show me anyplace
where there’s a fence
because-because
you don’t have to be bitter
to live under the influence of offense
I’ve I’ve dealt with the unforgiveness stuff
as to much as my knowledge I have dealt with
but you can still
unknowingly live under the influence of an offense and
still not be bitter
guard your heart
but you live under the pain of that
when you don’t need to
so I’ve been asking the Lord to just show me this stuff
for the last six months at the most random times
I’ll be just driving down the road
and I will remember something somebody said to me in high school
really
do we have to go that far back you know
or something it was done in grade school or
something was done last year
I mean just all kinds of very random things
the conversation at the Chicago Airport
with a young man
who
had certain opinions and conclusions about me
so that comes to mind
I-I can see his face
I can take you where we were in the airport
and I say
I give up my right to be offended
[Applause]
I give up my right
the lady who flips me off in the car
I pull over to have a conversation with her
I give up my right to be offended
the money that was stolen
the dishonesty in this deal
I give up my right to be offended
and what happens is you just have this stuff
just-just dial up
now I-I need I need you to understand because
there could be a horrible misunderstanding
I don’t recognize anything yet
He’s brought up
where I have harvard resentment or bitterness
but there’s something powerful that’s done in my heart
I don’t know how else to say that
something’s powerful is down in my heart
when I look at that the guy
who met me at the airport
here in reading and just read me the riot act
and on my eternal destination
I can still see his face
I give up my right to be offended
honestly I’ve tried to take it a step farther in cases like this
I pray for great mercy – great grace
but the point is I-I don’t want
I don’t want the-the poison of offense to cloud my-my vision
my scene
I don’t want it to affect my thinking
my reasoning
because it does
that’s the target
the target is to get offense
to get bitterness
envy
any of these things
to get it somewhere influencing
the reasoning
so that I’m not able to demonstrate the heart of God on planet earth
in the measure He desires
so I want you to look with me at
Romans 12
and we’ll uh
we’ll take this for the remaining
uh part of the morning
you guys still alive
I don’t know
what I’d say
would I do if you said no
but I do prefer people surviving the meeting
I beseech you therefore brethren by the mercies of God
that you present your bodies a living sacrifice
wholly acceptable to God
which is your reasonable service
I think one of the translations maybe New American says
reasonable service of worship
present your bodies a living sacrifice
your reasonable service
becoming
a living offering is the intellectual thing to do
have you discovered yet that God thinks different than you
guess who’s not going to change
what repentance does
is it re-engages with the way He thinks
that’s what repentance is
repentance is reconnecting with the perception of God regarding a matter
His perception is different
most of our lives are spent in the middle of challenges
difficulties-problems victories
whatever
it might be and in the middle of these issues
we are crying out to God
for Him to come and help and to fix the situation
but Jesus modeled a different way of living
I hope that we can come into this in instruction and
experience more thoroughly
in the next couple of years
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yeah i’m so glad that you watched this video
I do pray that it’s a great great strength and encouragement to you and
I’ve got a verse that it really is my cry for all of us and it’s
may He grant you your heart’s desire and
fulfill all your plans
that’s my prayer
that’s my prayers
that this would be the season of rich rich fulfillment
thanks for joining us
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4 Biblical Tips to Not Be So Easily Offended
(This YouTube video is 10:26 in length, below is the transcript)
are you the type to get easily offended
do you frequently find yourself taken aback by the things that people say and do
well hey my friend
welcome back to another edition of the building faith podcast
my name is Chris Reese and is my hope to help you find biblical solutions to life’s tough challenges
I remember going out to eat with friends one time
after we’d finished with a long event and
we were enjoying our food and the conversation and
then I looked over at my friend’s plate and
I saw that she was nearly finished in record time and
I remember thinking to myself wow she must have been hungry
so I said
wow you must have been hungry and
she stuttered alittle bit and said
yeah and we went back to our dinner conversationand
it wasn’t until we were ready to get the check did I see that she had not finished what little food was left
and she packed it up and
she took it home
I sensed something was up
so later that evening
one of my other friends said to me
how hurt she was by my comments and
I knew what comment she was referring to because it was obvious how her behavior changed after it but
what I couldn’t understand was why and
worse why didn’t she say something to me
whether you’re the type that gets offended and
says something to the person
vents it to another person or
tries to keep it to herself
being easily offended
can actually affect or
even infect our relationships and
maybe that’s why Solomon in
Ecclesiastes 7:21 says this
Do not take to heart all the things that people say lest you hear your servant cursing you
your heart knows that the many times you yourself have cursed others
are you easily offended
do people have to walk on egg shells when they’re around you
yes there are people who are rude and cruel and
I’m not talking about those people who make their snide passive aggressive comments repeatedly and
then say
oh I was just kidding or
you misunderstood me I’m talking about those situations where you leave it up to the other person
to figure out and fix but
you never take the time to figure out
if it was truly their issue or
yours being offended is subjective
that’s why there’s no recourse for being offended
what offends me may not offend you and vice versa
if someone said to me wow it looks like you were hungry
as I quickly polished off my dinner that wouldn’t offend me but
it did my friend
so what’s actually going on
behind the scenes
well the truth is people who easily get offended are often self-righteous and
I know this hurts to hear and
it certainly hurt me to hear this years ago
when I thought that it was everyone else’s job to cater to my feelings and beliefs
otherwise they didn’t love me
you have free will to believe and prefer whatever you’d like but
so does someone else
so we have to stop making people wrong in order for you to be right
then we go and we kick it up a notch and we presume to know that we know what they were thinking and
we know what they were feeling when they said what offended us
the truth is you don’t know
what someone else is thinking or feeling
you don’t know what their true motive is and
when you have a self-righteous attitude you automatically make someone else wrong
so you can stand in your self-righteousness
doing this empowers you to point the blame out ward and
say you bad
me good and
there are times that people can say something that was hurtful and
they truly didn’t mean to but
there are other times where their questions or their comments are truly innocent but
you’re hit hard
so what do you do
well the healthy thing to do is to approach somebody and
let them know how their comment has affected you and
oftentimes however we let it go but
we really don’t let it go
we actually just store the offense until later and
otherwise bury it under the rug until they say something again and
then we trip over the bigger mound in other words
you harbor and then you add it to your offense list and while letting people know
that you have
they’ve offended you
can actually build bridges and relationships that can also begin to deteriorate them
as someone is left constantly having to explain themselves and justify their behavior
while they’re just trying to be themselves
in other words
people may say i feel like I’m walking around eggshells around you
so what do you do if you find yourself constantly offended and hurt by people
the best place to begin is within yourself
now I’m not saying that you’re at fault but
what I am saying is that you’re going to want to do a healthy self-examination
to see what’s going on inside of you
my go-to prayer is Psalm 139:23
Search me God and know my heart
test me and know my anxious thoughts
because oftentimes when we’re the type who so easily offended
the problem doesn’t lie truly in what the other person is saying
it actually lies more in what you’re struggling with and
probably trying to hide
for example
it came out later that my friend from the restaurant was struggling with her weight and
she thought that I was criticizing her for the portions that she was eating
well that was a really poor assumption and
if she wasn’t struggling with her weight
she likely wouldn’t have been triggered by such a friendly innocent comment and
when we take our hidden issues and project them onto others
we can do damage in a relationship
while people who love you do want to be sympathetic to what you’re struggling with
the problem that you can create in a relationship sometimes is when you take your struggle
you put it on them and
then you blame them for it that’s unhealthy and
that’s what is going to create distance in a relationship not closeness
do you like hanging out with somebody who blames you for what they’re going through
do you enjoy spending time with someone who accuses you of making them feel a certain way
again I’m not saying that there aren’t people out there
who are-aren’t malicious and passive-aggressive in their intent but
for normal everyday people
who are just trying to be themselves and in relationship with you
they’re battling with their own struggles
they don’t want to be blamed for yours or mine
so what are you to do
what do you do when those moments
in those moments when you’re hurt and you’re offended and
you really don’t know if it’s them or if it’s you
well here are some steps
that you can take in fact there are three of them
Number One
pray
pray and ask God to reveal to you the truth of what’s happening
Number Two
check yourself
ask yourself this question
is this something that I’m struggling with
did it trigger something that’s within me and
Number Three
own it
I have good news for you-you want to quickly discover what you’re struggling with
look for your out-sized reactions
when you’re triggered because
it’srevealing
what’s truly going on inside of you
if it’s a struggle or an insecurity that you have you need to own it and
then maybe even get some help for it
you can’t create environments where everyone has to be aware of each other’s struggles and
know how to respond accordingly
that’s just not humanly possible
my friend
God is faithful to help us heal every broken part of our lives
He is faithful to see us through the valleys
He is faithful to heal ourhearts but
God won’t heal
what we won’t reveal
just like hiding our sin will not bring forgiveness
hiding our struggles will not bring the healing
we have to own it and
bring it before God
we have to admit that this is my struggle
so when someone comes along and triggers me
I know that it’s an issue that I need to deal with and not be distracted
by now trying to put the blame on them and
this even works in those times
when someone is deliberately evil in their intent towards you
so again I’m not saying that their behavior is okay but
if you’re triggered
it’s your struggle but
God can see you through
that look I get it-it seems so much easier to point that blame outward
it seems much simpler to say you make me feel to someone
it seems so much easier to get the world around you to conform to your needs and your expectations but
in case you haven’t noticed
it doesn’t work
if you are looking for true genuine relationships you have to allow people the grace to be themselves
to make mistakes and
to prove if they are truly for you or against you and
blaming others for your hurts and your struggles actually begins to push people away
consider this there is likely some truth in what they’re saying and
that is what stings but
you getting angry at them doesn’t make their truth a lie
it only puts you in denial
check yourself
examine what was said and determine if there is some truth in it and
even if what they said was truly offensive God can still take what the enemy meant for harm and
use it for your good
so extract the truth from it
going around trying to make others believe your lie isn’t going to bring truth
being offended my friend
is a choice
just because you feel offended doesn’t mean you have to give into that feeling
Proverbs 19 says it best when it says
good sense makes one slow to anger and it is his glory to overlook an offense
so ask yourself
do I want to be offended right now or not
you’re not a victim
my friend
you have a choice
are you struggling with a victim-mentality
I want to invite you to checkout this episode right over here on how to be set free and
if you’ve ever wondered if you are suffering from toxic thinking
I want to invite you to take our free toxic thoughts quiz
just to see
just how toxic your thinking process maybe
I will go ahead and include a link inthe description section below for both of these valuable resources
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