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Definition:
Codependency is a concept that refers to a psychological, spiritual, or emotional reliance on another person in a way that is self-destructive or other harmful and often includes enabling behavior. Codependent relationships are often out of balance, and a codependent person may ignore their own needs in favor of their loved ones’ needs. Codependent people have trouble establishing healthy relationships and may end up in one-sided or even abusive relationships. Codependent relationships can be intimate relationships, or they can occur between family members or within caretaking relationships. A caregiver, for example, may become unable to set boundaries with the loved one being cared for and begin to neglect their own well-being.
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Quotes:
“There are two questions a man must ask himself: The first is ‘Where am I going?’ and the second is ‘Who will go with me?’
If you ever get these questions in the wrong order you are in trouble.”
― Sam Keen,
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A codependent person is one who has let another person’s behavior affect him or her and who is obsessed with controlling that person’s behavior.
Melody Beattie
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Kris Reece (krisrecces.com)
8 Signs of a Codependent Christian
are your feelings dictated by those around you
are you only okay if others are okay with you
you my friend could be struggling with codependency
and in this video we’retalking about the eight signs of a christian codependent
well welcome my friend if this is your first time here
my name is Khris Reece
and if you are looking for biblical solutions to life’s tough challenges
go ahead and click that subscribe and notification button
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from the beginning God said
it is not good that man should be alone
i will make him a helpe fit for him
and he created us for relationship
but when codependency enters the picture the relationship dynamic can become distorted and unhealthy
codependency is defined as an
excessive emotion or physical reliance on another person
usually those closest to us
codependents need a lot of support and can put a lot of strain on a relationship
in a nutshell
codependency can be described by saying
if You’re Okay – I’m Okay
If You’re “NOT” Okay – I’m “NOT” Okay
now in christianity we can get this confused with
bearing one another’s burdens
a scripture that we find in Galatians 6:2
and laying our life down for someone
and we confuse this with a pattern ofen abling even unhealthy and sinful behaviors
so how do you know if you’re a caring problem solver or a codependent
let’s talk today about eight signs of a christian codependent
#1
Difficulty Saying “NO”
do you feel that if you say no you may lose the relationship
or what it’s providing for you
many who struggle with codependency struggle with setting healthy boundaries
and even if you muster up enough courage you almost feel the need to explain yourself
if you have trouble saying no or feel the need to justify your no
it likely stems from your wanting to be seen in a certain light
whether it be for giving
giving caring selfless and you need the other person
now to give youper mission to feel good about your boundary
#2
Overly Concerned with the Feelings and Needs of Others
God has given each of us unique preferences and desires
but if you’re codependent you’re not okay if others aren’t okay with you
your feelings are dependent upon their feelings
#3
A Fear of Abandonment and Being Alone
people who struggle with codependency need constant reassurance and validation
and their worth is often found in others
therefore the thought of being alone is terrifying to the man
this can be made worse by those who deny this fear
and pretend to be independent
when in reality their fear of being alone drives their every action
#4
Struggle to Identify Your Own Needs and Feelings
when asked what would you prefer many who struggle with codependent behaviors cannot easily identify their feelings and preferences without involving another person
and they often hope or expect others to read their minds and meet their needs without them ever having to communicate them
this is because codependents are highly skilled at reading others emotions and anticipating expectations and they hope and expect the same for themselves in fact often times they equate this to love
#5
A Victim-Like Mentality
those struggling with codependent traits try very hard to please people and then get resentful when others don’t respond in the way that they want or expect
and if you are not sure if you have a victim mentality
i want you to watch for words like this
you made me
you make me feel
well i guess now i have to
and many of the behavioral traits that a codependent will exhibit could be defined as caring
but this is not the biblical definition of caring
the behavior is actually a form of manipulation
which my friend i hate to break this to you is actually a form of witchcraft
look people who have a victim mentality
don’t always do it intentionally
however they’ve learned that it gains them sympathy
or it puts them into a favorable light with others and now this seems to be their fall back and go to
#6
Insecure Fragile and Sensitive
many who struggle with codependency have never developed a sense of self
they don’t know who they are and the place that they hold in this world
outside of the needs and expectations of others
and this insecurity breeds a constant need for reassurance
and codependence can often be described as
needy and clingy
#7
Feeling Resentful
it is more blessed to give than to receive says Acts chapter 20 verse 35
and those struggling with codependency take this scripture to heart the problem is
is that you are not giving from your heart
but rather from obligation
and your need to please
God calls us to be cheerful givers
not to give till it hurts
you want to guess what givers attract
takers and when you’re struggling with codependency it’s common to point the finger outward
at the taker
but what needs to happenis if you’re feeling resentful and can’t give cheerfully
you have to stop giving
#8
Accusations of Being Controlling
but it’s not your true heart you see many codependents do not see themselves
as controlling people
in fact they feel the opposite
they feel defenseless and God has given us the ability to stand up for ourselves
and to not be victims
but the codependent’s desire to say no
now conflicts with their desire to be seen in that favorable light
so they take a more in direct approach to controlling
it’s called manipulation
usually by guilt
look i realize this can be a lot to take in
but awareness is the first step
so i want you to join us on future teachings on how to find freedom from codependency
in the meantime join me in asking the Galatians 1:10 question
am i now trying to win the approval of human beings or of God
if you are trying to please people my friend
you are not being a servant of christ
i’ve found that many people who struggle with codependency also struggle with toxic thinking
and if you want to know how toxic your thoughts are
i want to invite you to take our free
how toxic on my thoughts quiz
i will go ahead and include a link in the description section below
so be sure to join us next week as we divein to how to heal from codependency biblically
and if you’ve been enjoying this content on this channel my friend
i want toinvite you to become a member of Kris Reece Ministries
it is free to join and when you do you’re going to be sent a fresh new teaching every week
and you can respond to that email for prayer support from our ministry team
and you’ll also be able to respond to that email with questions t
hat could potentially be answered on our Building Faith Podcast
so go ahead
i’ll include a link in the description section below go to Kris Reece.com
member to join today
well that’s all the time that we have for today
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