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– Relationships & Mental Health: When Being Too Dependent Is a Disorder
– 18 Sad Signs You’re Emotionally Dependent on People not God
Quotes:
Emotions will either serve or master, depending on who is in charge.—
Jim Rohn
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When Jesus says you must leave your family to follow Him, he doesn’t necessarily mean physically.
He means leave your dependence on them, make an emotional break with them.—
Anne Graham Lotz
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Definition:
Emotional dependency is a state of mind where a person is incapable of taking full responsibility for their own feelings. They do have emotions like sorrow, grief, heartbreak, anxiety, and depression but they cannot embrace, accept, or nurture these feelings.
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– Relationships & Mental Health:
When Being Too Dependent Is a Disorder
There is no transcript of this Youtube video (length -4:09 minutes)
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18 Sad Signs You’re Emotionally Dependent on People not God
Below is the transcript of this Youtube video (length -8:23 minutes)
is your need for love and affection insatiable
do you suffer distress when someone physically or emotionally withdraws from you
you could be struggling with emotional dependency on people
and in this episode i’m going to be talking about the signs that you are emotionally dependent
on people and not God
well hey my friend welcome back to another edition of the building faith podcast
i’m your host Chris Reese and itis my mission as always to provide you with biblical solutions
to life’s tough challenges
emotional dependency is when ongoing presence or nurturing of another is believed necessary for your personal security
it’s when your happiness is based upon someone else or the success of the relationship
it’s like an addiction
except in this case you’re not addicted to a substance but rather a person
and how they make you feel or how you’re hoping they’re going to make you feel
and we can even mistake the feelings of emotional dependency for love
look everyone needs to know that he or she is loved and approved of
and this ideally should come from our family of origin and when there is a secure attachment developed
in childhood we are better equipped to have healthy relationships with others and with God
but in the cases of insecure attachments the struggle is often exhibited through performance
if i can do enough
be enough
be good enough
then i will get the acceptance and the approval
and when your worth hinges on others you can easily slip into emotional dependency on people
emotional dependency can be on just about anybody
parents
romantic partners
pastors
even friends
anyone that you put in the place of God
can actually become an emotional crutch for you
but God calls us to be in relationship and he calls us to actually have healthy interdependence on others
so how do you know if you’ve slipped from a healthy dependence on God to an ungodly dependence on people
today we’re going to talk about 17 no make it 18 signs that can alert you as indicators that you are
emotionally dependent on people not God
#1
Insecurity
do you struggle with your worth and identity
#2
Attention Seeking
do you get jealous if you are not the focus of their attention
#3
Unsure of Yourself
do you frequently doubt yourself
your desires
your goals
your decisions
#4
Unable to be Alone
do you struggle to enjoy frequent quality alone time without this person
do you experience panic and anger when this person withdraws
#5
Need for Approval
are you always looking for theirapproval
#6
Tolerating Toxic Behavior
and yes even abuse do you reason away their bad behavior
#7
Indecisive
do you have trouble making even the smallest decisions it’s usually out of a fear of displeasing the other person
#8
Low Self-Esteem and Self-Worth
do you constantly worry about not measuring up
do you question your identity in christ
#9
Critical of Self and Others
do you frequently have something negative to say about yourself and other people
#10
Frequently Anxious
do you often feel physical or emotiona languish are you unable to relax
#11
Jealousy and Trust Issues
do you frequently express jealousy possessiveness in this relationship
do you often see others as a threat to it
#12
Fearful
are your actions driven by fear
fear of rejection
fear of confrontation
fear of loss
#13
Self-Punishing
do you beat yourself up when your needs aren’t met
#14
Playing the Victim
do you often blame others for not meeting your needs
do you feel like a martyr
#15
is Poor Communication
do you struggle to express your needs for
a fear of rejection
a fear of abandonment
the loss of the relationship
#16
Constant Need for Reassurance
are youfrequently checking in with the other person
to be sure that they’re okay
so you can feel okaynumber
#17
Manipulative
do you often feel the need to control others
this is more often in a passive and manipulative manner and typically through guilt
#18
Overthinking
do you frequently overthink and over evaluate what the other person means when they say or do something
my friend anyone can struggle with these traits from time to time
but an emotionally dependent or needy person will display these traits with much more frequency
than on occasion
and it’s not hard to fall into the emotional dependency trap
a traumatic event
an unloving upbringing and unnurturing
an unnurtured temperament
a dismissive parent can begin to turn our focus away from God’s love
and now turn it towards others in an attempt to get our emotional needs met
and we all need relationship and albeit some need it more than others
but what do you do when you feel like you can’t function without this relationship
you see the problem with emotional dependency is that it is insatiable
there is no one my friend that could possibly meet your needs for love and approval
but God can
He wants to be your source
He wants to be your all-in all
will you let Him
there are some serious dangers remaining in an emotionally dependent state
number one
it makes you prone to manipulation
you want to be a target for toxic people
stay emotionally dependent
number two
it actually can block your ability to hear from God
and we hear best from God when we are in communion and full submission to Him
being dependent emotionally on someone else will keep you actually reliant upon them not God
and the third
you actually don’t reach your full potential in life
an emotionally dependent person has difficulty seeing past their current need for love to the freedom
of living the abundant life
and our dependency should be on God and God alone
and He is so gracious to send us people to love but when we begin to use these people
to meet the needs that only God can
my friend we are bordering on abuse people
were never meant to be our source
God is our source
people are a resource
and when you make someone else your source you’re walking on very thin ice
and risk emotional and mental harm to and from people who are not able or designed to meet
that type of need and if you are struggling with emotional dependency
it’s likely that you have become a target for toxic people
and that’s why i want to invite you to graba copy of my free toxic people’s survival guide
i will go ahead and include a link in the description section if you’re listening on the podcast
jump on over to chrisrece.com
and you can grab that valuable resource if you are struggling with emotional dependency
i want to encourage you to check out my latest teaching on
how to heal from emotional dependency biblically
emotional dependency on people is satan’s counterfeit
to healing and restoration that takes place when your dependency is on God my friend
i pray that you will make Him your source
until next time remember all things are possible with God
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